Tuesday 3 July 2018 Day 34

working with J-C in the woods. Good fun. shame the wood's so rotten.
lunch at Jimmy's (not very good, and especially not for 12.80 euros)
struggling with 2nd Coming - the clever little initials don't work
meditation with John Manson - we didn't sing
supper with Susanne and John. Susanne in a mood, better after.
earlyish to bed. Andrew and Delyth out til late.

Bonnevaux still life -
appropriately out of focus

herons and haybales

Monday musings

Monday 2 July

[00:09]Derrida and caricatures

Rick Roderick on Derrida - The Ends of Man

[07:21]'love' at end of messages, christian pieties, grace and real gratitude, invoking their 'christ'

how to sign off emails

[18:53]french kissing / greeting. formality. engaging with strangers. being rude or different. 

[25:07]belle's 'project' pushing leads to drinking

[32:28]missing meditation, singing without delyth

[36:37]everyone irritating me 

[39:15]french cheese

[40:26]on susanne

[42:42]shoppig with swiss susanne

ivan's death

[46:43]nature trail in caravan

A conversation with my daughter

7/3/18, 1:31 PM - Her: Are you alright? Had horrible dreams about you being a suicide bomber! With a cat strapped to your chest... x

7/3/18, 2:54 PM - Me: A cat?!

7/3/18, 4:45 PM - Her: Yes a cat, maybe the one you take photos off. It was awful. I still feel sad thinking about it

7/3/18, 9:28 PM - Me: What, for the cat, or your mad suicide bomber dad? I'm not a bit suicidal btw:) other than from exhaustion and mosquito bites Love da

7/3/18, 10:13 PM - Her: No I don’t think it was particularly that you were suicidal it’s that this was your latest great plan to solve the problem, whatever the problem was, the problem for me was not your death because we’d avoided that and were surrounded by armed police-  I’d been unwittingly harboring you and was terrified I’d go to prison and there wouldn’t be anyone to look after the children! I think the cat was just a decoy, you had it in a baby carrier, it was the weirdest most vivid dream I’ve had for ages! Quite exciting really. 

Been listening to a bit of your blog today (been ill in Bed) I like having you rambling in the background but for what it’s worth it sounds like You should make a new more anonymous blog(not what i think but it sounds like from the way you talk that that’s what you want), for yourself. Also if on the other hand you want people to listen/read it I think more people would read it, they are quite long, the podcasts, and the written ones are easier to skim read - more accessible for belle etc.

7/4/18, 6:10 AM - Me: That was a long think! You're right about writing, I'm just so tired and I do like burbling on, it's cathartic and rather relaxing. A good one on Derrida yesterday. Sorry your dream was so disturbing. As for "secret" podcasts it sort of spoils the point - I need to know I'm not just talking to myself but it also needs to be confessional i.e. as honest as I can be.