Actually it's 23:32 on Tuesday. I'm sitting in bed, in my jamas, Mike Oldfield playing through my speakers, fridge chilling, laptop ready to charge, bright lights to read by, a cup of tea and a fag to hand, Metanoia Chapters 27-34 (The End, and it really is) on its way, the heater on, a lovely evening chatting to Suzanne and the Frogs, fried potatoes and mayo for supper - it's just great. Thank you God.
Listening to the Boy Crisis - unexpectedly good, and a lot of resonance with Jordan Peterson's ideas. The correlation between mass murders and low father involvement (27 out of 28). The importance of family dinner (one or two nights a week). Seeing fathers and mothers interacting. And weird connections with the last few chapters of (old) Metanoia - the hero, fighting to defend the home, the values of the Frees (started reading it last night and couldn't put it down!).
Quite a hard frost this morning. Suzanne very smug - she covered the veggie patch with straw from Gerard yesterday. Gave Thomas Felicity's marmalade to sample. Re-positioned the PV panel to catch max rays and try and re-fill the batteries. Fridge seems to be nice and cold.
Gas heater works, but starts to make a filthy racket as it heats up. I'll look at it when I dismantle the cupboard and the bathroom for the wood-burner.
Need to talk about sharing before the 9am meeting - Andrew doesn't get it, he's turning it into AOB from the day before. Read up what Findhorn say about it . . .
Another outraged and disgusted of Bonnevaux message to Curtis Banks about getting money out of them and Aviva - I first messaged them on March 22 and Aviva have still not managed to hand over my money. I'll be back from Greece before they do.
the coffee in the house is filth. first off, it's funny i even noticed. Suzanne just says I'm making it too strong.
bit twitchy today - hassling (well he thinks I am) Daniel about the drill and what he has to do. The drill was Thomas. Need to write a tools procedure - basically they're all mine and you have to ask me for a screwdriver. Salvaged two loo seats from the skip. Fixed my second light, no more need of torch to boil water. Welcomed Corrine from somewhere 80 kms away, north of Chauvigny, who just turned up on spec, for a med and a mooch. No English so I practised my French (which seems to be getting worse). She produced bread for our soup, which was a miracle as we had none (well half a stale baguette for 6).
Belle, DP11, on her 'sensitivities' and need for alone time away from home (where she works and her husband is, so she goes to stay in cheap hotels and watch telly for 24 hours). Funny, the ones we share, and all the ones we don't. She says that's enough about her, but I think it's worthwhile. Maybe I should subscribe to her podcasts.
Back to the salle de bain.
The only thing about having electricity is suddenly the whole place is filled with wires and cables and things plugged in, which I really don't like. I'd like virtual electricity.
Belle's thought for the day "It’s OK to Quit Drinking. Nobody Needs to Drink.” Followed by a whole load of statements of the obvious (and the problem) - yes she's right, you need to stop - but how do we stop? How did I stop? How do other people on this blog stop? Once stopped, Belle is a real help, but she doesn't really answer most of the questions in her post, apart from the "stop for 7 days and re-assess". Wolfie does seem to mean something for most people, maybe it did for me a few years ago, but I think I sort of went past that. I think ALL of me was drinking, and 'enjoying' it, and then ALL of me wasn't - all of me felt shit, knew it was killing me, was bored with just being bored and drunk, bored and hungover, and so more drinking to suppress the boredom and futility, and it just stopped working. I felt shit, even while drinking. And I stopped lying to myself. I couldn't lie, anymore, to myself about losing my jobs, my wives, nearly perhaps my children, my life - that I felt like a useless shit, knew I wasn't one, and wanted to show myself, and anyone who cared about me, that I wasn't a lost cause - although a lot of that came after I stopped drinking, and was definitely helped by Belle - she doesn't do self pity or 'there, there', she's quite brutal, with herself, and with others, but not somehow in the way that Don - my briefly AA sponsor - was. He seemed arrogant and judgemental. (Maybe that was just me then, or me projecting on to Don what I was getting in part from Pol). Belle is just honest, and fierce, and funny, and rude. My kind of girl. And finally, maybe it was just time, and perhaps that's true for everyone. Eventually, hopefully before it kills you, you wake up and realise that you simply HAVE to stop (as Hattrick did), for whatever reason.
electric fun - wiring vent and light together. I tried wiring the ventilator and light in series (so switching on the light would switch on the ventilator as well) but only the ventilator worked. When I divided the live wire between the two, and combined the neutral wires back from them, it worked fine. Arthur said maybe the ventilator was taking all the current and leaving nothing for the bulb. Experiment - run the circuit through the bulb and then the ventilator. If Arthur is right, the bulb should glow brightly but the ventilator may run sluggishly.
And so to bed. Andrew and Delyth off tomorrow to see daughter in law in the Pyrenees for a couple of days. I am in sole charge of the children, the car and the debit card. For the weekend. And we will have two guests. What could possibly go wrong?
Listening to the Boy Crisis - unexpectedly good, and a lot of resonance with Jordan Peterson's ideas. The correlation between mass murders and low father involvement (27 out of 28). The importance of family dinner (one or two nights a week). Seeing fathers and mothers interacting. And weird connections with the last few chapters of (old) Metanoia - the hero, fighting to defend the home, the values of the Frees (started reading it last night and couldn't put it down!).
Quite a hard frost this morning. Suzanne very smug - she covered the veggie patch with straw from Gerard yesterday. Gave Thomas Felicity's marmalade to sample. Re-positioned the PV panel to catch max rays and try and re-fill the batteries. Fridge seems to be nice and cold.
Gas heater works, but starts to make a filthy racket as it heats up. I'll look at it when I dismantle the cupboard and the bathroom for the wood-burner.
Need to talk about sharing before the 9am meeting - Andrew doesn't get it, he's turning it into AOB from the day before. Read up what Findhorn say about it . . .
Another outraged and disgusted of Bonnevaux message to Curtis Banks about getting money out of them and Aviva - I first messaged them on March 22 and Aviva have still not managed to hand over my money. I'll be back from Greece before they do.
the coffee in the house is filth. first off, it's funny i even noticed. Suzanne just says I'm making it too strong.
bit twitchy today - hassling (well he thinks I am) Daniel about the drill and what he has to do. The drill was Thomas. Need to write a tools procedure - basically they're all mine and you have to ask me for a screwdriver. Salvaged two loo seats from the skip. Fixed my second light, no more need of torch to boil water. Welcomed Corrine from somewhere 80 kms away, north of Chauvigny, who just turned up on spec, for a med and a mooch. No English so I practised my French (which seems to be getting worse). She produced bread for our soup, which was a miracle as we had none (well half a stale baguette for 6).
Belle, DP11, on her 'sensitivities' and need for alone time away from home (where she works and her husband is, so she goes to stay in cheap hotels and watch telly for 24 hours). Funny, the ones we share, and all the ones we don't. She says that's enough about her, but I think it's worthwhile. Maybe I should subscribe to her podcasts.
Back to the salle de bain.
The only thing about having electricity is suddenly the whole place is filled with wires and cables and things plugged in, which I really don't like. I'd like virtual electricity.
Belle's thought for the day "It’s OK to Quit Drinking. Nobody Needs to Drink.” Followed by a whole load of statements of the obvious (and the problem) - yes she's right, you need to stop - but how do we stop? How did I stop? How do other people on this blog stop? Once stopped, Belle is a real help, but she doesn't really answer most of the questions in her post, apart from the "stop for 7 days and re-assess". Wolfie does seem to mean something for most people, maybe it did for me a few years ago, but I think I sort of went past that. I think ALL of me was drinking, and 'enjoying' it, and then ALL of me wasn't - all of me felt shit, knew it was killing me, was bored with just being bored and drunk, bored and hungover, and so more drinking to suppress the boredom and futility, and it just stopped working. I felt shit, even while drinking. And I stopped lying to myself. I couldn't lie, anymore, to myself about losing my jobs, my wives, nearly perhaps my children, my life - that I felt like a useless shit, knew I wasn't one, and wanted to show myself, and anyone who cared about me, that I wasn't a lost cause - although a lot of that came after I stopped drinking, and was definitely helped by Belle - she doesn't do self pity or 'there, there', she's quite brutal, with herself, and with others, but not somehow in the way that Don - my briefly AA sponsor - was. He seemed arrogant and judgemental. (Maybe that was just me then, or me projecting on to Don what I was getting in part from Pol). Belle is just honest, and fierce, and funny, and rude. My kind of girl. And finally, maybe it was just time, and perhaps that's true for everyone. Eventually, hopefully before it kills you, you wake up and realise that you simply HAVE to stop (as Hattrick did), for whatever reason.
electric fun - wiring vent and light together. I tried wiring the ventilator and light in series (so switching on the light would switch on the ventilator as well) but only the ventilator worked. When I divided the live wire between the two, and combined the neutral wires back from them, it worked fine. Arthur said maybe the ventilator was taking all the current and leaving nothing for the bulb. Experiment - run the circuit through the bulb and then the ventilator. If Arthur is right, the bulb should glow brightly but the ventilator may run sluggishly.
And so to bed. Andrew and Delyth off tomorrow to see daughter in law in the Pyrenees for a couple of days. I am in sole charge of the children, the car and the debit card. For the weekend. And we will have two guests. What could possibly go wrong?
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