Day 92 Saturday 7.iv.2018
I am in control. I am not undermining myself. I am being as competent as I can be. I didn't drink half a bottle of scotch last night. I knew it would be a dead end, or worse. I got very close. Home alone, babysitting while Felicity and Steve went to see Jonathan Pie in Bath (not very funny they said, too ranty for too long, but they enjoyed their evening out). The babies were fine, especially Oscar. I woke him up in case he was dead and he spent ten minutes laughing at me and trying to get all his fingers up my nose and twisting it off. Also eyebrows and beard. Then he went straight back to sleep.
Of course I'm not in control. I'm not in control of the world, of events, of what arises in my own head. But I am in control of my awareness, my consciousness. At any given moment (subject to the usual caveats about tiredness and hunger) I am here, ready to do the best I can, as capable as I can be, and that gives me tremendous confidence. Not that things will go according to plan, or work out for the best, but that whatever happens I will be present and doing my best.
Alba's birthday party. Really a party for the parents with added ankle biters (who on the whole behaved as well as if not better than the grown-ups). No tantrums, everyone full on all day, especially Phoebe and Beep (just under and just over 2) who only finally lost it at 6pm, neither of whom had even a nap all day. And Oscar who got face ache from smiling and laughing at so many people. So glad I wasn't drinking (really wanted / needed one by the end of the day, but felt much better after I'd done the washing up and cleaned and tidied everything). Nice quiet evening with Steve's carbonara and the fire and watching RED. Did none of the jobs on my list. Ha!
Day 93 Sunday 8.iv.2018
Andrew helpfully emails me to say much better to cross to St Malo (and it does appear to be). So why does he wait until now, and why does he always cross to Ouistreham and Caen? May have to buy a French road map, if only to avoid the peages (Google not very clear which are toll roads and which aren't). Direct Ferries wanted another £145 so I didn't bother.
And I should get a decent night's sleep before a long day on Tuesday.
He also says there's something wrong with the septic tank but won't tell me more until I get there (there isn't one?! Jean Christophe and I fucked it up?). And absolutely no mention of the edspace - are they even using it?
NEF on big data and Cambridge Analytica. I think the real answer is to make all our data legally ours, from tax and medical records to our shopping and browsing history. We have a simple agreement with each "harvester" as to what they can and can't use. Funny that NEF has no comment facility.
Steve has fixed my bike. Which was very kind of him. He offered, and I said really, there was no need, but he went ahead and did it anyway, replaced my back brake with something very swish, and my handlebar grips which after 11 years had rotted away.
I rigged up the lightbar on the caravan, and finished off the table
. Looks a bit rough but nothing a lick of paint won't improve, and I'm pleased with it. So are Felicity and Steve I think. They'll get a proper glass top cut for it.
Day 94 Monday 9.iv.2018
Dropped Oscar and nearly boiled him in my morning tea. First mishap. He was cross. Felicity reacted like lightning but was very calm and gave me no grief, which is quite impressive. Most mother's would have killed me.
Day Two of the big adventure. Dog Kennel Cottage to Portsmouth. I spent the morning researching my route and then went out to fit the mirror extensions to the car and install the bike rack. Unfortunately the roofrack is lockable, but I don't have a key or the requisite lock picking skills so the bike will have to go back in the caravan.
Repacked the caravan, and then had a shave and a lovely hot bath and changed my clothes, ready for the big adventure. Said goodbye to them all, and Beep let me have a kiss, and set off up the hill just after 5pm. I was a bit worried that the car wouldn't be able to pull the caravan up (very steep at the start) but although the wheels started to spin at one point, we made it up to the A36 OK. Then a very easy run down to Portsmouth, no weaving at all, even at 60, so my repacking seems to have done the trick. Stopped a couple of times to roll a fag and check the caravan bearings and they were fine, and got to the ferry terminal about 20 to 8pm. Bought myself a pocket sized road map of France as a backup to my google maps, and a coffee, and checked in at 8.30. Have to sit here until 10.30, when we start boarding. A very good day.
Long chat with Sukie before I left Felicity's, to say goodbye and see how she was, which was lovely. She's off to stay with Joe next week.
Rather nice drinking NA beer and eating my sandwiches as I drove down. And to have an alcohol testing kit which I should never need (fings crossed).
I am in control. I am not undermining myself. I am being as competent as I can be. I didn't drink half a bottle of scotch last night. I knew it would be a dead end, or worse. I got very close. Home alone, babysitting while Felicity and Steve went to see Jonathan Pie in Bath (not very funny they said, too ranty for too long, but they enjoyed their evening out). The babies were fine, especially Oscar. I woke him up in case he was dead and he spent ten minutes laughing at me and trying to get all his fingers up my nose and twisting it off. Also eyebrows and beard. Then he went straight back to sleep.
Of course I'm not in control. I'm not in control of the world, of events, of what arises in my own head. But I am in control of my awareness, my consciousness. At any given moment (subject to the usual caveats about tiredness and hunger) I am here, ready to do the best I can, as capable as I can be, and that gives me tremendous confidence. Not that things will go according to plan, or work out for the best, but that whatever happens I will be present and doing my best.
Alba's birthday party. Really a party for the parents with added ankle biters (who on the whole behaved as well as if not better than the grown-ups). No tantrums, everyone full on all day, especially Phoebe and Beep (just under and just over 2) who only finally lost it at 6pm, neither of whom had even a nap all day. And Oscar who got face ache from smiling and laughing at so many people. So glad I wasn't drinking (really wanted / needed one by the end of the day, but felt much better after I'd done the washing up and cleaned and tidied everything). Nice quiet evening with Steve's carbonara and the fire and watching RED. Did none of the jobs on my list. Ha!
 |
| Birthday girl! |
 |
| Three of a kind |
 |
| The grandson, slightly zonked |
 |
| Rapunzel's Tower (and chef) |
Day 93 Sunday 8.iv.2018
Andrew helpfully emails me to say much better to cross to St Malo (and it does appear to be). So why does he wait until now, and why does he always cross to Ouistreham and Caen? May have to buy a French road map, if only to avoid the peages (Google not very clear which are toll roads and which aren't). Direct Ferries wanted another £145 so I didn't bother.
And I should get a decent night's sleep before a long day on Tuesday.
He also says there's something wrong with the septic tank but won't tell me more until I get there (there isn't one?! Jean Christophe and I fucked it up?). And absolutely no mention of the edspace - are they even using it?
NEF on big data and Cambridge Analytica. I think the real answer is to make all our data legally ours, from tax and medical records to our shopping and browsing history. We have a simple agreement with each "harvester" as to what they can and can't use. Funny that NEF has no comment facility.
Steve has fixed my bike. Which was very kind of him. He offered, and I said really, there was no need, but he went ahead and did it anyway, replaced my back brake with something very swish, and my handlebar grips which after 11 years had rotted away.
I rigged up the lightbar on the caravan, and finished off the table
Day 94 Monday 9.iv.2018
Dropped Oscar and nearly boiled him in my morning tea. First mishap. He was cross. Felicity reacted like lightning but was very calm and gave me no grief, which is quite impressive. Most mother's would have killed me.
Day Two of the big adventure. Dog Kennel Cottage to Portsmouth. I spent the morning researching my route and then went out to fit the mirror extensions to the car and install the bike rack. Unfortunately the roofrack is lockable, but I don't have a key or the requisite lock picking skills so the bike will have to go back in the caravan.
Repacked the caravan, and then had a shave and a lovely hot bath and changed my clothes, ready for the big adventure. Said goodbye to them all, and Beep let me have a kiss, and set off up the hill just after 5pm. I was a bit worried that the car wouldn't be able to pull the caravan up (very steep at the start) but although the wheels started to spin at one point, we made it up to the A36 OK. Then a very easy run down to Portsmouth, no weaving at all, even at 60, so my repacking seems to have done the trick. Stopped a couple of times to roll a fag and check the caravan bearings and they were fine, and got to the ferry terminal about 20 to 8pm. Bought myself a pocket sized road map of France as a backup to my google maps, and a coffee, and checked in at 8.30. Have to sit here until 10.30, when we start boarding. A very good day.
Long chat with Sukie before I left Felicity's, to say goodbye and see how she was, which was lovely. She's off to stay with Joe next week.
Rather nice drinking NA beer and eating my sandwiches as I drove down. And to have an alcohol testing kit which I should never need (fings crossed).
Lovely pics thanks. I have discovered ‘babel’ comes from the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, in which the Babel fish is what you stick in your ear to automatically translate any language you’re hearing. BBC radio did a programme of the entire original book the other night. Brill.
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