Day 103 Wednesday 18.iv.2018

Tuesday evening

Belle's 3rd word supposedly in her podcast. no vegetable or fruit as yet (2nd time round) - hearing aids? babies? good trick to make us listen twice.

I'm sitting here with my window open listening to strange animal noises (10:45 Tuesday night) - think they're owls. Didn't even notice the window was open it's so warm. Frogs have been going bananas as well. Andrew says Rebecca is frightened of the sangliers down at the lodge, and being so far away and on her own in the dark, which I can sort of understand. She and Andrew had a family row in front of the volunteers at our meeting this morning. 'stop throwing your toys out of your pram' he said. She was being very difficult, and has remained so all day. I provoked it (suggesting volunteers could sleep in the attic and we wouldn't need to buy tents, which really upset Rebecca, Andrew says because she wants one of the tents for herself). Seemed a bit easier tonight after supper - she'd talked to Giovanni. Andrew apologised for losing his temper at lunchtime and Daniel thanked him. Rebecca did not reciprocate - I suspect she assumed Andrew was apologising to her, and she had done nothing wrong. She snapped at me for not listening (I asked a question about paint) and then promptly made us repeat a whole segment on something else, because she had clearly not been listening. It's funny, but sad too because one doesn't know how to help her get out of her death spiral, fed unfortunately and I suspect unconsciously by Laurence and maybe Giovanni back in London. And she's on the payroll! Not quite sure what she's doing for the money. (She looks after the volunteers at Bonnevaux - briefing/ recruiting / supervising.)

I really enjoyed doing the accounts. Working with spreadsheets, but not for myself or Top Trucks. I could be the Bonnevaux bookkeeper, and cook.

Jean Christophe got very cross / excited with me about the Lodge. Insisted it was 'tout mort' and would all have to be replaced (beams and ceilings) and we would have to get a professionel in and the roof would collapse and I would be killed. I tried to bet him 50 euros it would be OK but he wouldn't take the bet. He's mowed a nice path down to the Lodge along the top field, made it much easier to cycle. John from Ireland is arriving soon, Rebecca refuses to share a room so he will have to stay in the Lodge. Andrew says it's a problem because there's no loo - it didn't seem to occur to him you can go in the extensive surrounding woodland. I offered my caravan to John and I'd stay in the Lodge for a few days, but Andrew said no need. I'd love to, Soren's done a really nice job on it. Just need water and some wood for the fire, and candles/lamps. There's a lovely little oil lamp, but no glass, and I can't get the top off to refill it with oil. Nice comfy looking bed.

Delyth was giving them a singing lesson while I was cooking, which sounded lovely. I made a nice cauliflower cheese (used maize flower for the sauce, which worked really well) a sort of potage of celery and tinned petit pois (resisted the urge to use chicken instead of vegetable stock) and roasted potatoes and carrots with garlic and herbs. All worked OK, and hardly any left. Daniel said it was very nice, and even Rebecca said thank you. I wonder if she earwigged Andrew and I discussing the 'situation' outside after supper. We weren't horrid about her, but he is very cross with her, and with good reason, she's very self obsessed. It really is all about Rebecca.

Nice wearing shorts all day. I got dressed for dinner. Might treat myself to a shower tomorrow. It's been over a week since I had a bath and shave at Felicity's. And do some laundry.

And the Super-U glue and self adhesive hooks are useless. Have tried hanging Sal Goldsmith's picture three times, with two hooks and glue, and they just fall off. I've glued the buddha's head back on, I expect that'll fall off too. Oh for another tube of Montagen (magic Greek glue).

Long chat with Suzanne about life the universe and everything (she asked me to make her a fag). Rather to my astonishment she said she's 38 - I thought she was in her early 20's. I'm a little in love with her - she's very nice and seems remarkably untroubled. Sad to be moving on with the garden only just being started. Has to go back to Switzerland to reclaim her apartment in September and pay her taxes.

I asked her about my cannah lily which appears to have died. She said they are very conservative and don't like to be moved, so his little outing to France has probably done for him. She said to leave him alone for a few days and the warmth and sunshine might revive him. She wants to plant a herb garden on the wall outside the kitchen. It would be very convenient. Basil, mint, chives, thyme, rosemary (in the ground i think), oregano, a bay tree, parsley, I propose.

BTW - it's still Tuesday, just.

Wednesday

Sukie came to see me in the night. Very casual, just dropped in for a visit and a long chat, with Alba or Beep in tow. It was lovely, one of those 'real' dreams where I woke up feeling as if she had come round (our long chat before I left Felicity's perhaps). I wondered if she'd seen the long letter I've stopped writing to her about Henry Marsh and Thomas. Not sure if I should continue. Perhaps real me doesn't think it's a good idea.

Another lovely day in prospect. No fog this morning, birds singing gaily all around.

Is Naxos just a dream? It feels like it might be. This place gets more real, more solid, more beautiful and lovely every day. Do I even need to go there now, to see Aspasia and Mikailis? (And Christos and Stuart and Eleni and M and Lou etc and be sober there for a week). There I would be alone on a mountain, harvesting water and sunshine. Here I am in a community, building something, meditating like a metronome.

I picked the Buddha up by his head this morning and it didn't come off, so the glue obviously works. Try glueing the hook on again for Sal's picture. Bit pointless as the wall will be coming down at some point to fit the woodburner.

Ironically the main effect of connecting my solar PV so far has been to use more gas (for the fridge and heater).

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Yes I was a bit mystified by the de-consecration bit, and the removal of the altar and the altar rail - they're nothing special, moulded plaster, 19th century, but it seemed a bit of a desecration and a break with the place's monastic past. I think Fr Laurence wants a very simple empty space, non-denominational, not obviously Catholic or even Christian, and there are I suspect some Canon law issues as well - what you can and can't do in a consecrated church, which would complicate things. And I was joking about Andrew being Prior, but Laurence told him that is exactly what he is. And we do meditate and say the office in the chapel 3 times a day, which is more prayer than it's seen in a long while I suspect. It was a sort of decorative feature rather than a place of worship - the snob value of having your own chapel, à la Brideshead.

The solar panel is all hooked up and churning out juice like billyo, averaging 35 volts from pretty much dawn til dusk so my two massive batteries are now full to bursting. Turns out I'm lacking a vital component to turn my 12 volt supply into 240 volts to run my fridge and kettle and various lights and chargers. I sort of stupidly thought since I could already turn 240 volts into 12 the reverse would apply. At the moment all I can give the solar panel to do is run one light (missing a light fitting for the other) and start the gas heater, which is now completely unnecessary as it's turned into a very hot English summer - shorts and red faces all round.

I was frightened of the gas leak, so I ignored it for several days, and as a result got through an entire bottle of gas in short order and had a very smelly caravan. Then I had a proper look at it and I'd just not tightened the connector up enough (needs a wrench). The second bottle is fine, so it'll be interesting to see how long it lasts. I went off today to get a replacement bottle and was told I needed to go to Leclerc "en le direction Chauvigny" - what the very pleasant woman at Auchan actually meant, was Chauvigny itself, which is miles out in the countryside. When I finally got there (after relenting and turning on the car's air con cos it was so fucking hot even with both windows wound down) the very nice Leclerc man said he couldn't help me as I had an English adapter/regulator and I would have to buy a new cylinder and and a compatible French detendeur. By which time I had to turn back to pick up Elba and John from the airport in Poitiers. I felt a right prat standing outside arrivals with my Bonnevaux sign, in my holey and dirty plum coloured shorts and grubby polo shirt, not exactly Top Cars service. So instead of buying all sorts of useful gizmos for house and caravan, and getting some gas, I came home empty handed apart from a nice Columbian and an Irishman from Cork, and I have to go out tomorrow and try again. And achieved precisely nothing today. And once back in Poitiers I saw a sign to another Leclerc about 10 minutes from the airport "en le direction Limoges". C'est la vie! You have to laugh. I nearly wept.

My one lose in the move seems to be my nice white cotton jacket which I bought in Genoa on the way out to Greece 5 years ago. You haven't seen it hanging up in the house somewhere I don't suppose? I must have left it somewhere, but I can't think where. We are not exactly having tweed jacket weather here!

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Got back to the caravan after a lovely al fresco supper outside with our guests (9 for dinner) and THE LIGHTS AREN'T WORKING. Oh no, all my clever expensive shit is broken and it really has been a disastrous day. Fiddled with the wires in the gas locker and the light came back on. Whew. I'd rather not flog back into Poitiers tomorrow to sort out the gas and electrics but I kind of want to knock it on the head and get on with stuff - e.g. Rebecca's want list for the outside bathroom. I had a shave and a very nice shower and wore my Soweto shirt to meditation, which everyone admired (or disguised their horror). Rebecca's been escorted off the premises by Daniel to stay in the Lodge while Irish John stays in the house. She was acting the martyr a bit, but actually much more cheerful. Genuinely nervous of being alone in the dark in the Lodge with all the beasties and French rapists prowling about, although she was laughing about it (actually she didn't mention French rapists and neither did I - that would be truly terrible). I have truly no idea how frightened people are / can be. The only thing I'm scared of is myself (and faceless controlling authorities like the Benefits Agency). Nothing to be proud of, just an underactive imagination on my part, I think.

I think Andrew and she may have had a good chat sometime today. I did give Andrew some advice this am which might have helped - to be a bit more passive, to not rise to the bait and play Rebecca's game. It's her problem and she has to sort it out, we just have to hold her and be kind to her, but be firm and clear when she starts acting out and projecting. She will either break down / blow up, or leave, or work it out for herself. Hopefully the latter. She's horrid when she's sad / sorry for self, but a lovely person really. Don't keep asking her how she is - she'll just go on about ill she feels.

Anyway Andrew also seemed very cheerful tonight. He says he's doing the barbie on Saturday and we're going to have some Toulon saucissons and  some fish. Whoopee! Elba's very fit and gone off jogging around the estate. I told her Jean Christophe has mowed tracks down to the lodge which are cyclable and therefore I assume runnable too. Nice woman, coastal engineer, off to the Middle / Far East soon to build some ports. She was quite cross about Giovanni ordering the destruction of the altar rail - it shouldn't have been done without Andrew's OK and M. Ruel's as well. At least she seems to understand Andrew is supposed to be in charge. I think Giovanni and Laurence are as thick as thieves and quite naughty / anarchic, used to having their own way. Apparently Giovanni has a house up Chauvigny way. Frogs are very noisy tonight. Suzanne said she's seen no frogspawn, so maybe they're all mating.

Suzanne did Swiss rosti for supper with salads and lots of nibbly bits including some sort of goose terrine and anchovies - hooray. And I had a ham sandwich at the airport by way of a late lunch, and jambon cru and cornichons (which don't like sunlight - they've started going white so I've put them in the cool dark cupboard) on ryvita for tea. I should try ham and eggs and fried tomatoes for breakfast for a Saturday treat.

I've booked a week in Naxos, flying Paris to Mykonos 11-18 May - which will be exactly the 5th anniversary of my first landfall on Naxos. Contact Aspasia and Mikaili about looking at their land and book a car with Evangelia and room with Christos. Or maybe stay in Moni with Eleni if she's on the island. Be nice to not be so cut off, and Christos would probably make me paddle to Crete if I stay with him. (Something's just gone phlump outside - I'm not going to investigate.)

I'm sure the weather is unreasonably hot. Suzanne says it's going on for ever according to her forecast - 26 or 27℃ every day from now on. Might get to have a swim before the lake runs dry. Rebecca says she's swum in the spring, which is an offence apparently in France (swimming in springs that is, not swimming in the springtime). I can always swim in the river in Vivonne in the summer - it's almost like the Dordogne - Le Clan. I think it must drain in to the Loire.

Felt rather proud of myself; silly really, but I was clearing up after supper in the kitchen and found a pitcher full of wine which I decided would be better off back in the bottle with a cork in it (think it was the last of the wine box). So I poured it back in to the Chinon bottle (someone will get a nasty surprise I suspect) but there was too much. Old me came out and thought he'd swig the dregs, but new me poured them down the sink and corked the bottle and put it in the fridge, and thought nothing of it.

It is nice having ice cold NA beers from my fridge to drink when I want. Sat out this afternoon recovering from all my frustrations at my nice table and chair, with a cold beer, in the shade - sun too hot even at 5 - reading my book before going down to the farmhouse for a shave and a shower. 

Suzanne keeps borrowing my hammer and chisels for random tile work in the garden, which I must visit and admire Daniel's cathedral of a compost palace - he's put a roof on it for eff's sake, he was cheesed off because I said he should use some plastic and scrap wood to roof the bins, he wanted me to buy him corrugated iron or something. And I had a thought - I'm in the land of limestone. Must find a random rock and see if I can carve something out of it. There are bits of stone coming out of the house. Passed a massive maçonnerie merchants this afternoon selling lumps of the stuff in 2 metre cubes. I've also thought of rebuilding what I thought was the old dovecote but which Andrew says was where the hunt's hounds lived with their master. Anyway, it's a nice looking ruined round tower with a little wall round it, looking down on the Abbaye. I could move there when the caravan disintegrates, which I suspect it's already starting to do. Be like Michel de Montaigne - he had a tower.

10:15, curtains and window open and it's finally feeling cool.

Final thought - if I can sort out the electrics, I won't need any gas (use my electric kettle, run the fridge, and get the woodburner sorted to heat the place, and/or use my electric convection heater, not that heat looks like being a problem - Andrew asked me to get him an air con for the Edspace today). Bit of a bum having paid for two calor gas cylinders that I'll never be able to use, unless I go back to England. And I'll have a sound system. Which I can use to drown out the roaring of the frogs. And if the fridge works properly maybe I can have choc ices. Or run a freezer.

France Musique is very irritating - they do play nice music, but also an awful lot of Frogs talking away to each other. At least they speak good French and I can follow most of it.

I've spent most of my money and neither Phoenix nor Curtis Banks are giving me any more, despite my asking, and sending them secure messages asking them for progress / confirmation, to which they haven't as yet deigned to reply. I bought more bitcoin. Bill Bonner thinks it's a good idea. Hubble says the Australian mortgage market is about to explode - I thought 'so what?', but they borrow all their money overseas and they're all mortgaged to the hilt on dodgy loan applications. Whoops, 2007 all over again.