Day 81 Tuesday 27.iii.2018

Probably needed a good purge. Certainly getting one. Tea helps. Rather surprised I didn't have to get up in the night. Probably nothing left inside me. I've thrown out the green salad and the pate. Half thought of submitting them to the Public Health Laboratory. Still a bit wary of cream crackers.

The BBC still banging on about Labour anti-semitism. No one points out the leader of the Board of Deputies is a Conservative supporter, or that the artist who painted the mural himself (herself?) specifically said at the time it was not anti-semitic but anti- elites and bankers. The "elders of Zion" depicted are in fact all bankers, and of the group of 6 only two are Jewish (the Rothschilds and the Warburgs). The symbol behind the group is that of Freemasonry, not normally thought of as pro-Zionist. No Jewish members of the Labour Party who disagree with the proposition (that Labour is anti-semitic) and there are several, were interviewed. And it's all just coming up before the local council elections, although the mural and Jermey Corbyn's comment happened in 2012. Oh dear. As someone commented, last week Jeremy Corbyn was a Russian stooge, now he's an anti-semite, three weeks ago he was a Czech spy. What's frightening is what they'll do if he ever becomes PM.

2 crumpets. no bloat. a bit of rice and mince and peas. Did the forms for Phoenix and Curtis Banks, and letters. Now I just need a printer that works.

A funny feeling. I'm taking a risk, setting off on an adventure into the unknown. It may go wrong, but I'm taking care, as much as I can, and I'm excited. It's good to be alive. JP is useful - I'm looking at my anxieties as information - look at this, do something about that, consider this - they're not just bad feelings, to be drowned or masked in alcohol. They're helping me. As he says, fear, anger, sadness are all good and potentially useful things. Happiness and complacency are almost the enemy (like the hobbits in the shire, ignoring the outside world and the borders).

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