Johann Hari's TED talk. (Thanks H.) I've been a fan of his campaign against the "war on drugs" for a while, and read a long piece of his about addiction a while back, but this was very pithy. I get very cross with stupid politicians who blithely ignore the Portuguese experiment.
I think his point about connectedness is spot on. And the trouble is, once addicted it becomes a vicious cycle, as one isolates and is disconnected / disconnects one's self from every one around. It wasn't their fault but that definitely became a big part of my problem with both Sukie and Pol. That's why I'm enjoying Jordan Peterson so much (I'm working through his University of Toronto lecture course on Youtube, Maps of Meaning) - full of common sense advice about how to get things right and wrong. Common sense now, but I could really have used him 45 years ago; now I've sort of figured out a lot of what he says for myself, a little late in the day.
I realise I've never been, or didn't use to be, very good at connecting about what was really affecting me (not my opinions and bullshit about the world, but what I was feeling, what was frightening / worrying me, my depression) so drink was always an attractive option. What shrinks do for a living I suppose - give people a chance to connect with someone, without baggage or agenda. I don't think I ever really had a proper heart to heart with anyone until I started seeing a counsellor after Sukie and I split up (and even then, I never really came clean with her about my drinking) - I was nearly 50.
Jordan Peterson on addiction and the origin of "wolfie"
Must get on with my table. The garage has just rung with an estimate of £100s for various things (all sensible and reasonable) but also a delay - they can't do one job until after Easter so my departure has been delayed by a few days.
Nice long chat with Felicity. I have been saved by my children. They stuck with me through the dark and stupid times. We gave them (maybe) adventure and love and non-judgement and they have given it back to me in spades. She said something lovely, how the three of them admire me for changing, growing, all the time, not being some stodgy pensioner, doing the same old same old. And that they stuck with me because they loved me. I was talking about Hari's idea, that we have to love and support the addict, not judge, reject, punish. Love them better. Which they have done. I think F was a bit surprised (and pleased too) I was still off the booze.
Interesting - after 2 or 3 days without bread or pasta, I had 4 or 5 cream crackers with my scrambled eggs at lunchtime. About 2 hours later I got really severe stomach cramps and about an hour after that an explosive visit to the loo. I do not feel tempted to repeat the experiment.
Listening to "Say No to Happiness" again, after talking to Felicity (Steve had recommended it to me). I really hadn't paid proper attention to it (it starts with a silly woman talking about her attempt to find happiness - not that silly, but her ideas were, and the rest of the podcast is spent demolishing the idea that "happiness" is something we should aim for, and almost going too far in the other direction). Anyway, much more interesting the second time around.
Another distressing visit to the loo. Maybe it's just good old fashioned food poisoning - the pate (although I had some the other day without ill effect), or the bag of green salad, unwashed, that I bought yesterday. Bit of a coincidence, nevertheless.
Diana's back. 84 men commit suicide in the UK every week. Laura was very unsympathetic - they should be shot, or told to pull themselves together. Just sort themselves out.
And here's some pictures of my table, in progress -
I think his point about connectedness is spot on. And the trouble is, once addicted it becomes a vicious cycle, as one isolates and is disconnected / disconnects one's self from every one around. It wasn't their fault but that definitely became a big part of my problem with both Sukie and Pol. That's why I'm enjoying Jordan Peterson so much (I'm working through his University of Toronto lecture course on Youtube, Maps of Meaning) - full of common sense advice about how to get things right and wrong. Common sense now, but I could really have used him 45 years ago; now I've sort of figured out a lot of what he says for myself, a little late in the day.
I realise I've never been, or didn't use to be, very good at connecting about what was really affecting me (not my opinions and bullshit about the world, but what I was feeling, what was frightening / worrying me, my depression) so drink was always an attractive option. What shrinks do for a living I suppose - give people a chance to connect with someone, without baggage or agenda. I don't think I ever really had a proper heart to heart with anyone until I started seeing a counsellor after Sukie and I split up (and even then, I never really came clean with her about my drinking) - I was nearly 50.
Jordan Peterson on addiction and the origin of "wolfie"
Must get on with my table. The garage has just rung with an estimate of £100s for various things (all sensible and reasonable) but also a delay - they can't do one job until after Easter so my departure has been delayed by a few days.
Nice long chat with Felicity. I have been saved by my children. They stuck with me through the dark and stupid times. We gave them (maybe) adventure and love and non-judgement and they have given it back to me in spades. She said something lovely, how the three of them admire me for changing, growing, all the time, not being some stodgy pensioner, doing the same old same old. And that they stuck with me because they loved me. I was talking about Hari's idea, that we have to love and support the addict, not judge, reject, punish. Love them better. Which they have done. I think F was a bit surprised (and pleased too) I was still off the booze.
Interesting - after 2 or 3 days without bread or pasta, I had 4 or 5 cream crackers with my scrambled eggs at lunchtime. About 2 hours later I got really severe stomach cramps and about an hour after that an explosive visit to the loo. I do not feel tempted to repeat the experiment.
Listening to "Say No to Happiness" again, after talking to Felicity (Steve had recommended it to me). I really hadn't paid proper attention to it (it starts with a silly woman talking about her attempt to find happiness - not that silly, but her ideas were, and the rest of the podcast is spent demolishing the idea that "happiness" is something we should aim for, and almost going too far in the other direction). Anyway, much more interesting the second time around.
Another distressing visit to the loo. Maybe it's just good old fashioned food poisoning - the pate (although I had some the other day without ill effect), or the bag of green salad, unwashed, that I bought yesterday. Bit of a coincidence, nevertheless.
Diana's back. 84 men commit suicide in the UK every week. Laura was very unsympathetic - they should be shot, or told to pull themselves together. Just sort themselves out.
And here's some pictures of my table, in progress -
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