And my jasmine is starting to bud again. Maybe I'll cycle in to Fram today and go and see Johnny and Ingrid.
Good habits - checking in. Don't be alone in your head. Which is what I do with Belle and never did with AA, and what maybe H is not wanting to do. Maybe it's enough for her to do it with me.
The key for me, with Belle, was a) the tone (I'm just bored with thinking about drinking - no big deal) and b) I'm just going to stop for 7 days, and see. And c) emails to and from Belle every day - more important than I have realised. And d) my blog. Oh and choc ices.
H is rebelling, against herself. She thinks she's rebelling against Belle's manipulation and behaviourist ideas.
And I did go through a lot of different tricks before I found Belle (remember the tossing a coin idea?).
A journey to find out who I really am (if I'm not just a drunk). I didn't think I was ever just a drunk, but I had got to a point where there really wasn't much room for anything else, and much else to look forward to in my life.
I didn't like Lee Davy when it started, but he grew on me. And I think Belle grew on him.
I could never have stopped drinking while I was with Pol (or Sukie for that matter) - because I was always confused between I'm stopping for them, I'm stopping for me, they make me want to drink, how can I cope with living with them if I don't drink - all shit, but all of it getting in the way. Not their fault, at all. Ever.
I watched a good film last night "A little chaos" with Kate Winslet and Alan Rickman and I think the actor who plays the man with no face in Game of Thrones. Set in Louis XIV's Versailles, Kate Winslet a gardener. Beautifully done and excellent performances from everyone.
Good habits - checking in. Don't be alone in your head. Which is what I do with Belle and never did with AA, and what maybe H is not wanting to do. Maybe it's enough for her to do it with me.
The key for me, with Belle, was a) the tone (I'm just bored with thinking about drinking - no big deal) and b) I'm just going to stop for 7 days, and see. And c) emails to and from Belle every day - more important than I have realised. And d) my blog. Oh and choc ices.
H is rebelling, against herself. She thinks she's rebelling against Belle's manipulation and behaviourist ideas.
And I did go through a lot of different tricks before I found Belle (remember the tossing a coin idea?).
A journey to find out who I really am (if I'm not just a drunk). I didn't think I was ever just a drunk, but I had got to a point where there really wasn't much room for anything else, and much else to look forward to in my life.
I didn't like Lee Davy when it started, but he grew on me. And I think Belle grew on him.
I could never have stopped drinking while I was with Pol (or Sukie for that matter) - because I was always confused between I'm stopping for them, I'm stopping for me, they make me want to drink, how can I cope with living with them if I don't drink - all shit, but all of it getting in the way. Not their fault, at all. Ever.
I watched a good film last night "A little chaos" with Kate Winslet and Alan Rickman and I think the actor who plays the man with no face in Game of Thrones. Set in Louis XIV's Versailles, Kate Winslet a gardener. Beautifully done and excellent performances from everyone.
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