Day 26 Wednesday 31.i.2018

I've started writing a report / paper on development of Bonnevaux, for our conference call this evening with Laurence and Giovanni. Andrew's just found out that Jeff, the German project manager in Berlin, chucked it in in December (couldn't sell his business) but no one bothered to tell Andrew. I do feel sorry for him (Andrew that is).

A nice thing about the Pol bad dream thing. I thought really hard in the dream about a) having a drink, now's the time to get drunk (at her) and b) thinking, no I won't, I don't need to do this, that would just be letting her win / proving her point. That in my dream, I really felt challenged, and I didn't do it - and oddly enough in all the time I've been sober, I've only dreamt I've been drinking once or twice, really early on (and felt shit about it when I woke up, as if I really had been drinking).

And how fascinated I am by all the wall papers - how beautiful  they are.

email belle about the duck pond update and 68 days of getting up at 5.40am and it's raining and we had the digger turn the edspace space into the battle of the somme and how crap and exhausted i've been feeling and this is all new and people keep speaking french and they're all strangers and idiots and I'm unhappy and it's horrible, and then it isn't. thanks Belle

Don't compare my inside with somebody else's outsides

is vegetarianism good for me? 6 days without a decent pork chop and I'm feeling a bit faint.

Is Urantia a real thing (or just a beguiling fantasy)? Jeff Salzmann talking to Bryan Belitsos on the Daily evolver. It sounds bonkers, and desperate attempt to convince themselves that it's not all over when it's over. I can't wait, the thought of an eternity of ascending the levels of the cosmic angel hierarchy just makes me feel tired.

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