Day 45 Monday 20.xi.2017

Stuart ratty about my "ruthless editing", or drunk and / or tired / or confused. Or me being paranoid. Pol doesn't know what grandchildren I have. Laura and Diana antsy. The manic high is fading - watch me try to cling on.

Why do I have a headache? I never had headaches when I drank.

My (wolfie?) plotting to go to the White Horse to celebrate Oscar's safe arrival - I need the company, the craic, to get out more, but I knew that deep down a bit of me was thinking, I'll have a proper drink.

Not meditating in the afternoon / evening.

Mindfulness tonight.

Harriet has started (says she's signed up for 100 days). Says she finds this helpful.

Generally restless, but just fiddling about, instead of getting on with something - the table, Metanoia, going in to Framlingham or Saxmundham.

Much better after my ride into Framlingham. I have a jig saw so I can get on with my table. Mindfulness was nice, seven of us (a crowd), only spoilt by a horrid doner kebab sold to me by a very nice Kurd from Eastern Turkey. That's perhaps what 17 years in the Uk and 8 in Fram does to your kebab skills.

Get a nice pot and decent compost for my canna lily, which is looking a bit sick. Maybe it caught a cold on my window ledge. I've given it a feed.

Start doing yoga again. Mindfulness made me realise how crap my body feels, sitting around all day.

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