Awake at 5.30. Meditation for half an hour with Pauline and Pol at 8. Porridge. Lovely morning with Pol. Cycled Wefan to Kelvedon - 2.6 miles then train to Ipswich and Becks Blue and fag in sunshine then treat lunch (ham salad baguette and bacon cheese turnover, fanta) and train to Campsea Ashe (Wickham Market Station). Cycled to Sweffling via Fram - 10.1 miles - shop at CoOp, McCrum back to library - lots of notes in my journal and books to read (e.g. CS Lewis - A Grief Observed, Tolstoy - Death of Ivan Ilych). Really good. Not completely sure about the fairy tale ending. Quite like being in love, but not with anyone in particular. Letter from taxman demanding £500. Think they're wrong.
The play went really well, and I managed to transfer the videos onto Pol's Mac Airbook. Look great. Pol a bit antsy last night (nervous about the play? not coping well with me being around with all her poetry female friends? who seemed a bit odd with me, but that may just be my paranoia. Or not - they don't really know me. Or maybe it was as much me, surrounded by alcohol, and old memories. Went off to the Chapel and got some San Miguel 0%. Pauline was fine this am so maybe she was just tired). Lovely to see lots of good old friends. No one from Coggeshall that I knew apart from the Crawfords, whose names I'd forgotten and who didn't recognise me or come and say hello. Seem to remember P saying Andrew has dementia, or have I just made that up, or was it another Andrew?). Valerie Quinlivan came - lovely to see her. She might come to Just This Day at St Martins.
Part of the trick, as I ride home, is not being fed up that I haven't got getting hammered to look forward to, but all the things I do have to look forward to (and surprised myself that I was in fact looking forward to those things - my nice cosy warm room, a hot bath, a nice supper, cranberry & tonic, bed). The growing of good habits, the withering of old ways of thinking / being. Maybe. Hope so.
Rang Matt at the CoOp asking him to check see if my lovely skiing hat and gloves are in the kitchen (left so fast I forgot to pick them up on the way out of the door - need them now for the bike). Bit pissed off that neither Keelan or Helen bothered to tell me I'd left them behind. Hope they're not lost.
Did an online alzheimers test, which said I was average for my age. Marmite is good for me. More fish, nuts, seeds and blueberries. Reduce coffee, a lot. Replace with tea, green tea and herbals. More cabbage, spinach. No mention of tomatoes or peppers or green beans. Mad keen for me to take buckets of Vitamin B supplements. I'll stick to Marmite. And take a homocysteine test. Do they have any fucking idea what causes it? Why do smokers get it less than non smokers?
Another lovely sober day. Not sure about Walaa's party tomorrow. I think probably not (and I want to go to communion at Sweffling on Sunday).
Time to meditate, then pizza and salad for supper. Oh and I found my keys and head torch (having falsely accused Esmé, who is two, of pinching them). Keys in a secret previously unknown pocket in my silly panniers and head torch turned up in my suitcase, so perhaps I do have Alzheimers after all.
The play went really well, and I managed to transfer the videos onto Pol's Mac Airbook. Look great. Pol a bit antsy last night (nervous about the play? not coping well with me being around with all her poetry female friends? who seemed a bit odd with me, but that may just be my paranoia. Or not - they don't really know me. Or maybe it was as much me, surrounded by alcohol, and old memories. Went off to the Chapel and got some San Miguel 0%. Pauline was fine this am so maybe she was just tired). Lovely to see lots of good old friends. No one from Coggeshall that I knew apart from the Crawfords, whose names I'd forgotten and who didn't recognise me or come and say hello. Seem to remember P saying Andrew has dementia, or have I just made that up, or was it another Andrew?). Valerie Quinlivan came - lovely to see her. She might come to Just This Day at St Martins.
Part of the trick, as I ride home, is not being fed up that I haven't got getting hammered to look forward to, but all the things I do have to look forward to (and surprised myself that I was in fact looking forward to those things - my nice cosy warm room, a hot bath, a nice supper, cranberry & tonic, bed). The growing of good habits, the withering of old ways of thinking / being. Maybe. Hope so.
Rang Matt at the CoOp asking him to check see if my lovely skiing hat and gloves are in the kitchen (left so fast I forgot to pick them up on the way out of the door - need them now for the bike). Bit pissed off that neither Keelan or Helen bothered to tell me I'd left them behind. Hope they're not lost.
Did an online alzheimers test, which said I was average for my age. Marmite is good for me. More fish, nuts, seeds and blueberries. Reduce coffee, a lot. Replace with tea, green tea and herbals. More cabbage, spinach. No mention of tomatoes or peppers or green beans. Mad keen for me to take buckets of Vitamin B supplements. I'll stick to Marmite. And take a homocysteine test. Do they have any fucking idea what causes it? Why do smokers get it less than non smokers?
Another lovely sober day. Not sure about Walaa's party tomorrow. I think probably not (and I want to go to communion at Sweffling on Sunday).
Time to meditate, then pizza and salad for supper. Oh and I found my keys and head torch (having falsely accused Esmé, who is two, of pinching them). Keys in a secret previously unknown pocket in my silly panniers and head torch turned up in my suitcase, so perhaps I do have Alzheimers after all.
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