Fall back. Woke at 8.30 - when did I last do that? - but it's now 7.30.
Fags are not a great way to start my day. Perhaps I'll try 7 days without fags when my current batch of tobacco runs out. One thing about not drinking is how much more aware of my actual physical state I am. Another thing is, despite my treats (e.g. midnight mini magna) I think I am actually eating less - no insane munchies driven by alcohol, weed and boredom. Eating more than one meal a day also helps, but I'm not simply eating things for entertainment. And I am drinking a lot more fluids.
And another thing about knocking smoking on the head - it would save me between £30 and £50 a week. i.e. I am spending a quarter of my income burning dried leaves. What sort of treats could I spend that on? enough to go round the world by next Easter.
Lunch with Johnny and Ingrid today. Give them my chocolate birthday cake (or the half that's still left), liqueur chocolates and Barbara's prosecco. Lucky Andrew & Laura have got the mulled wine - just as well they don't really drink.
Orders received from Pol re Luther play. Turn up at 2 on Thursday to help move chairs with Michael Horne (a.k.a. M Luther), read through at 4, help with sound etc and I can have a bed for the night. Just need to work out how to get there.
email from B. "buy more of my stuff, you need more support" (I paraphrase, but that's how I felt). Seem to have plenty of support at the moment. And she does respond to my emails, even to my comments on her novel. Go look at her shopping mall. I seem to remember a phone call costs $275, which seems a little juicy. (On the other hand, how much money would I want to talk to a total stranger on the 'phone? Anyway, I really do not have $275, I keep buying myself so many treats because I am not spending £10 a day on alcohol.) On the other hand I did a little cash flow / balance sheet the other day (and I haven't really done that since I abandoned Top Trucks in 2013) and I do seem to be quite well set up, at least by my modest standards. Can I pay the rent? Can I eat? end of. If I could work out a way of extracting my pension pot without giving 20% of it to the taxman, I'd be laughing. Or possibly weeping, later.
I got that wrong, as B pointed out - a call costs $75, which is altogether more affordable. I may take her up on that. The 7-day sober jumpstart and year's penpal cost $275, which I feel is worth it for the year's penpalling (is that a thing?).
It's not even boredom - it's the fear of boredom
And I find I'm living where I've been dreaming of living all this time. Paul bodging a three legged stool with Simon's bronze axe, Simon smelting bronze to make boar spears and amulets, everyone camping in the woods. The music the other night. Gosia's gallery. Sal's pictures. And all those things going on in Fram. That's the trouble with anaesthetising oneself - I simply haven't really noticed that I am where I am and I don't really need to go somewhere else. Maybe down to the little wood to start building my den.
Went into the crackden to retrieve the material for my waistcoat - a family of very happy mice sit there looking up at me. I haven't yet checked to see if they have left enough of the brocade to make the waistcoat. Off to lunch after I have downloaded my documentary on how to smelt bronze and make greenwood stools.
Lovely lunch with J & I, Eamon and Catherine O'Nolan (isn't that too Irish, like O'McGuire?), David and Camilla Keeling. Lovely food, good company. Broke my LA/NA rule (Sole Star and another - v malty) and Camilla made two spliffs. Less than perfect but lovely. Checked the curtain material - more than enough for my waistcoat project. Made a mockup of my coffee table project to try and work out the geometry of the tripod legs (use a pallet for the actual table). Think I understand the problem.
Now I need to meditate. As yet my documentary of bronze smelting and casting and bodging has sound but no picture. Need a codec (?) for .AVI formats.
No Metanoia today - very frustrating. Johnny bought his laptop from Morgan for £85. Try the old 02 netbook - it might still work.
Fags are not a great way to start my day. Perhaps I'll try 7 days without fags when my current batch of tobacco runs out. One thing about not drinking is how much more aware of my actual physical state I am. Another thing is, despite my treats (e.g. midnight mini magna) I think I am actually eating less - no insane munchies driven by alcohol, weed and boredom. Eating more than one meal a day also helps, but I'm not simply eating things for entertainment. And I am drinking a lot more fluids.
And another thing about knocking smoking on the head - it would save me between £30 and £50 a week. i.e. I am spending a quarter of my income burning dried leaves. What sort of treats could I spend that on? enough to go round the world by next Easter.
Lunch with Johnny and Ingrid today. Give them my chocolate birthday cake (or the half that's still left), liqueur chocolates and Barbara's prosecco. Lucky Andrew & Laura have got the mulled wine - just as well they don't really drink.
Orders received from Pol re Luther play. Turn up at 2 on Thursday to help move chairs with Michael Horne (a.k.a. M Luther), read through at 4, help with sound etc and I can have a bed for the night. Just need to work out how to get there.
email from B. "buy more of my stuff, you need more support" (I paraphrase, but that's how I felt). Seem to have plenty of support at the moment. And she does respond to my emails, even to my comments on her novel. Go look at her shopping mall. I seem to remember a phone call costs $275, which seems a little juicy. (On the other hand, how much money would I want to talk to a total stranger on the 'phone? Anyway, I really do not have $275, I keep buying myself so many treats because I am not spending £10 a day on alcohol.) On the other hand I did a little cash flow / balance sheet the other day (and I haven't really done that since I abandoned Top Trucks in 2013) and I do seem to be quite well set up, at least by my modest standards. Can I pay the rent? Can I eat? end of. If I could work out a way of extracting my pension pot without giving 20% of it to the taxman, I'd be laughing. Or possibly weeping, later.
I got that wrong, as B pointed out - a call costs $75, which is altogether more affordable. I may take her up on that. The 7-day sober jumpstart and year's penpal cost $275, which I feel is worth it for the year's penpalling (is that a thing?).
It's not even boredom - it's the fear of boredom
And I find I'm living where I've been dreaming of living all this time. Paul bodging a three legged stool with Simon's bronze axe, Simon smelting bronze to make boar spears and amulets, everyone camping in the woods. The music the other night. Gosia's gallery. Sal's pictures. And all those things going on in Fram. That's the trouble with anaesthetising oneself - I simply haven't really noticed that I am where I am and I don't really need to go somewhere else. Maybe down to the little wood to start building my den.
Went into the crackden to retrieve the material for my waistcoat - a family of very happy mice sit there looking up at me. I haven't yet checked to see if they have left enough of the brocade to make the waistcoat. Off to lunch after I have downloaded my documentary on how to smelt bronze and make greenwood stools.
Lovely lunch with J & I, Eamon and Catherine O'Nolan (isn't that too Irish, like O'McGuire?), David and Camilla Keeling. Lovely food, good company. Broke my LA/NA rule (Sole Star and another - v malty) and Camilla made two spliffs. Less than perfect but lovely. Checked the curtain material - more than enough for my waistcoat project. Made a mockup of my coffee table project to try and work out the geometry of the tripod legs (use a pallet for the actual table). Think I understand the problem.
Now I need to meditate. As yet my documentary of bronze smelting and casting and bodging has sound but no picture. Need a codec (?) for .AVI formats.
No Metanoia today - very frustrating. Johnny bought his laptop from Morgan for £85. Try the old 02 netbook - it might still work.
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