No more Beck's Blue - it may be 1/2000 parts alcohol (a teardrop?) but it's too much like old style me - it feels like boozing even though it isn't, so I think it just normalises that way of being, instead of helping me change it. F recommends "Nanny State" - just like real beer apparently. See if the white Horse has any tonight.
Developing a bit of a sweet tooth. Lovely mini magnums yesterday, hot ginger cordial, grapefruit / cranberry / ginger and tonic cocktail. Knock the weed on the head too, when it's gone.
Belle's next 20 instalments of her novel have arrived.
Feeling normal. This is now normal. A good sleep. No hangoveriness. Things to do, all day to do them. I worry, slightly, that normal leads to "I can do it" (drink and not go mad about it). And that there's still a lot of old drinking me in here, hanging around, biding its time.
Nice birthday messages from Michaili and Lou, Bobbins, Stuart, Juliette, Chas T. Michaili said something about 3 fingers Simpson - I assume he's referring to whisky measures. And lots of others.
Sorted everything out, I think. Signed the pledge. No more weed after tonight - give the change to Chrissy. Thinking about it in the crack den just now, at least some of my paranoia and anxiety is down to weed - I've been smoking it quite steadily for months, although I was pretty paranoid and anxious before I started smoking again. It can't help though. Another layer / level. And no more low alcohol beer after tonight either. Could get a bit tougher.
Belle has kicked me off with treats, and hope.
Developing a bit of a sweet tooth. Lovely mini magnums yesterday, hot ginger cordial, grapefruit / cranberry / ginger and tonic cocktail. Knock the weed on the head too, when it's gone.
Belle's next 20 instalments of her novel have arrived.
Feeling normal. This is now normal. A good sleep. No hangoveriness. Things to do, all day to do them. I worry, slightly, that normal leads to "I can do it" (drink and not go mad about it). And that there's still a lot of old drinking me in here, hanging around, biding its time.
Nice birthday messages from Michaili and Lou, Bobbins, Stuart, Juliette, Chas T. Michaili said something about 3 fingers Simpson - I assume he's referring to whisky measures. And lots of others.
Sorted everything out, I think. Signed the pledge. No more weed after tonight - give the change to Chrissy. Thinking about it in the crack den just now, at least some of my paranoia and anxiety is down to weed - I've been smoking it quite steadily for months, although I was pretty paranoid and anxious before I started smoking again. It can't help though. Another layer / level. And no more low alcohol beer after tonight either. Could get a bit tougher.
Belle has kicked me off with treats, and hope.
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