instrumentalism - meditation as work, a means to an end. repression / rejection of unpleasant inappropriate feelings and thoughts. trying to make things happen (like stopping drinking)
{my article for the UK WCCM newsletter in 2014 }
april 2013 - stop "working". do what i want.
april 2014 - october 2014 - AA and drinking
october 2014 - a job - the means to do what i want - drink as much as i like (but not so much I can't work)
september - november 2015 - mindfulness. just sit and be aware. observe the effects of "doing what I want" - mainly drinking, and lying around doing nothing.
2016 / 2017 - increasingly risky behaviour. trying to a) kill myself with drink b) get sacked and escape from the trap. learning that what i wanted was making me ill and unhappy and lonely.
meditation didn't stop me drinking, but it did make me much more aware both of what makes me drink, and how drink makes me feel. I don't think I could do this (stay sober) without it.
I am the cosmos - it begins and ends with me. All relationships, stories, matrices, information are within me, come into being with me, cease with me. Not that there are not other cosmoi, but they only exist for me in relation to me, within me. this is not egocentricity. the bible as a narrative of my individual, unique (not special) birth, life and death.
doing nothing. meditation does nothing.
pushing away is not letting go
gurus / teachers:
Brendan, Placid, Prem Rawat / Guru Maharaji, Laurence Freeman, Ken Wilber. Kim Nataraja, Liz Watson, the woman at Findhorn (Carol?)
heroes:
TS Eliot, Yanni Varoufakis, Dolly Parton, E.M. Forster, Jane Austen, George Eliot
{my article for the UK WCCM newsletter in 2014 }
april 2013 - stop "working". do what i want.
april 2014 - october 2014 - AA and drinking
october 2014 - a job - the means to do what i want - drink as much as i like (but not so much I can't work)
september - november 2015 - mindfulness. just sit and be aware. observe the effects of "doing what I want" - mainly drinking, and lying around doing nothing.
2016 / 2017 - increasingly risky behaviour. trying to a) kill myself with drink b) get sacked and escape from the trap. learning that what i wanted was making me ill and unhappy and lonely.
meditation didn't stop me drinking, but it did make me much more aware both of what makes me drink, and how drink makes me feel. I don't think I could do this (stay sober) without it.
I am the cosmos - it begins and ends with me. All relationships, stories, matrices, information are within me, come into being with me, cease with me. Not that there are not other cosmoi, but they only exist for me in relation to me, within me. this is not egocentricity. the bible as a narrative of my individual, unique (not special) birth, life and death.
doing nothing. meditation does nothing.
pushing away is not letting go
gurus / teachers:
Brendan, Placid, Prem Rawat / Guru Maharaji, Laurence Freeman, Ken Wilber. Kim Nataraja, Liz Watson, the woman at Findhorn (Carol?)
heroes:
TS Eliot, Yanni Varoufakis, Dolly Parton, E.M. Forster, Jane Austen, George Eliot
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